


A, B, C, D, E-E-eee, F.U

by Hatsan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, first work ever, really sweet, sorry for any mistake, this is literal pain, wonho fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsan/pseuds/Hatsan
Summary: Kihyun just wanted the old Hoseok back, but Hoseok couldn't stop.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First work on Ao3, based on the song 'F.U' de Little Mix. Sorry for any mistake, English is not my first language and I hope you enjoy it! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Kihyun tapped the counter with his fingers happily, enjoying the sweet and strong aroma coming from the oven, wondering how much is left until his cooking is ready. It was currently seven o'clock in the evening and Kihyun was making dinner for his lovely and charming boyfriend, Hoseok, who was coming home from his work around thirty minutes later. He wanted to surprise the latter, because he know how tired Hoseok was when he came home, always going straight to bed after a long day, not bothering to even eat. That worried Kihyun to death, sometimes his boyfriend could be really hard-working, forgetting to take care of himself and focusing instead in the work his company gave him, putting big dark bags under his eyes and turning his face really pale, draining his usual brightness out of him. Those times where terrible in their home, Kihyun always begging for Hoseok to spare some days off and rest with him and Hoseok always turning him down with the same excuse "it's for the sake of our home, I'll manage, don't worry".

 

Until, at some point, Kihyu felt that work wasn't the only thing that kept Hoseok out for a long time.

 

It started when Hoseok came home really late, at hours like midnight or dawn, Kihyun waiting for him on the couch until he fell asleep on it. Usually, Hoseok woke him up and dragged him to bed with him, lecturing him about his sleeping hours and how it wasn't healthy to sleep on the couch, and Kihyun always answered back in his half-conscious estate. But one night, Kihyun was just starting to fall asleep on the couch, when the unmistakable tipsy laugh Hoseok always had when he was drunk echoed in the silent home, and that's when Kihyun suddenly felt totally awake, feeling a little confused because Hoseok had told him that he was working all night, just working. He forgot about it when Hoseok tripped  in his way through the door, rushing to help the drunk man to their bed before making him drink a whole glass of water and helping him strip from his work attire, laying him on the bed to make him fall asleep. But, the nights before that were almost the same, Hoseok coming home late totally wasted and when Kihyun demanded answers, he just replied, "you know how the guys get when drinking, they made me do it" and no matter how much Kihyun wanted to stay mad, he couldn't resist his boyfriend more than three hours.

 

It went on like that for a whole couple months, Kihyun always helping a drunk Hoseok to get in bed every night, until he began noticing the other things.

 

Kihyun had a very sharp sight, he always focused in the details of things and always noticed if something was out of place or if something went missing. So, when Hoseok came home smelling like cheap perfume and with purple marks lining up his neck, Kihyun was completely speechless and couldn't believe it. He kept it quiet, helping once again at Hoseok to their bedroom, waiting for him to fall asleep, and then he cried. He cried for hours, hearing the soft snores of the man he loved unconditionally, the man who cheated on him and dared to come wasted to their home, the man he gave everything and loved more than anything. And when the morning came, Kihyun couldn't even bear looking at him, just the sight of him stung on his heart, and of course Hoseok noticed this. He placed his hands in both sides of Kihyun's cheeks and guaranteed him that he was the only person he loved, that he was his world and that he was really sorry about that, promising him that it was the one and only time he did it and that he wasn't going to do it again, never.

 

Kihyun believed his words, because his heart still loved Hoseok with his all, forgiving him for all his mistakes and letting himself be kissed by the man who slept with other person behind his back a couple of hours ago.

 

And how wrong he was.

 

It took Hoseok to do it again two weeks, two weeks after he promised that he wasn't doing it again and Kihyun was devastated, was Hoseok's love so thin for him? He wondered, every night when he smelled the cheap perfume and saw the lipstick marks on the collar of his shirt, always throwing away the shirt in the trash and later buying a new one because he felt bad. Kihyun was a mess, he felt like one, and he couldn't help it, who wouldn't feel like that when his love was cheating on him every night? Was he that useless? Was he not good enough? All this thoughts made him wanna cry, and he often cried, feeling like the most worthless human being existing. But all of that washed away when Hoseok held him, when Hoseok kissed his face and whispered how beautiful he was, letting himself enjoy the warmth of Hoseok's love before the cycle repeated again, Hoseok going out, sleeping with other person, coming home wasted and sweet talking Kihyun until he was sure Kihyun was still with him. And Kihyun could only carried along with it.

 

The timer in the counter rang and snapped Kihyun out of his thoughts, focusing back on making the best dinner he could for his boyfriend he loved so much. He was making one of Hoseok's favorites, lasagna, because the dish held a especial meaning for the couple. The first time Kihyun cooked for Hoseok was when they both were in college, Kihyun majoring in music and Hoseok majoring in business, and it was almost midnight in Kihyun's dorm. They just came back from a party Hoseok's fraternity was throwing, because Hoseok demanded food and they were a little tipsy for like driving, so Kihyun offered to cook for him. It was especial to them because it was the first time Hoseok kissed him, waiting for the lasagna to cook in the oven and Kihyun pressed against the counter, his hands tangled in the soft strands of Hoseok's hair and the latter's hand holding his hips, leaving them a little bit breathless with their hearts beating like crazy, smiling like the happiest people on the world when they pulled back, and that was the first time Kihyun was sure he loved Hoseok.

 

Kihyun smiled at the memory and opened the oven, letting it cool down for a while before grabbing his cooking gloves and pulling out the oven-proof container, raising it up enough for him to smell it, his mouth watering at the heavenly smell that came from the lasagna. He left it on top of the counter for it to cool, and he sighed proudly at his handiwork. Looking at the clock above the fridge, his eyes grew wide as he realized that he had fifteen minutes to dress up. He ran to their bedroom in an instant, opening the doors of their shared closet, searching with his eyes some clothes that fitted him good and that Hoseok liked on him, and he came across the pink sweater that Hoseok gave him in their third anniversary, saying that pink suited him just right and that he looked lovely in it. Kihyun blushed at the memory, even though that was years ago and that Hoseok has said more heartwarming things, and hugged the soft material against his chest, sighing softly. He stripped quickly his old shirt ─more like Hoseok's old shirt from college that he stole from him─ and putting on the sweater, admiring how beautiful it looked in him in the mirror and quickly fix his hair, since it was a little messy.

 

Returning to the kitchen, Kihyun made sure the lasagna had cooled a little bit before taking it to the table, placing it in the center of it. He took the plates and the cutlery to the table, putting them in their places and making sure all was organized, staring at his hard work for a little bit before remembering the wineglasses and the wine itself. When he had them, he sat down on his end of the table and waited patiently for the couple minutes until Hoseok came home, feeling more than happy that he made this to cheer up his boyfriend. 

 

But, suddenly, minutes tuned into hours.

 

And by nine o'clock, Kihyun had eaten and opened the wine, pouring it into his glass until the top, because he grew hungry and his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. Not returning his calls and texts, leaving him completely clueless about his whereabouts and his time of arrival. Kihyun felt really upset, what he first thought about Hoseok being late because of the traffic was clearly dismissed, there was no traffic in such late hour and Hoseok would've called him. He was upset that his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen when he made sure to tell him that he was making a especial dinner tonight and Hoseok told him that he was coming home at seven thirty, and yet there he was, one hour and half late.

 

Kihyun felt like crying to be honest, this was such a especial thing for Kihyun, it meant that their relationship still had a chance and that Kihyun could still trust Hoseok, but the latter didn't even remember it and it broke his heart into pieces. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes, but he didn't want to cry, he didn't want to spill more tears for Hoseok, the man who stole his love for years and played with it as if it were nothing, but he was weak and the tears fell like waterfalls on his cheeks. His body trembled his little sobs, leaning against the table for support, placing a hand over his eyes to hide the pathetic tears, the warmness of them felt nice for a moment, but then he remembered how Hoseok used to tell him that he looked more beautiful with a happy smile on his face instead of sad tears and he cried harder. The stabbing pain in his heart was unbearable and he couldn't escape from it, no matter how much he wanted, he couldn't.

 

A minutes later, his crying had calmed down a little and he grabbed his phone, unlocking it and sobbing when he saw the photo of them on their trip to Disney Land saved as his lockscreen, remembering all those sweet and lovely moments they faced, the kisses and looks full of love. Kihyun quickly made his way to his contacts and called the one person besides Hoseok who could help him right now.

 

"Kihyun?" Asked the cheerful voice of his best friend, Minhyuk, and before he could answer, Kihyun let out a sob. "Are you crying? Oh my God, what happened?"

 

"H-Hoseok," Kihyun managed to voice, taking deep breaths to calm down. "He did it again, Minhyuk, again."

 

As his best friend, Minhyuk of course knew about all Hoseok put Kihyun through, all the late comings home and the cheating, knew how much Kihyun was hurting and always told Kihyun to break up with him, because that was really bad for him and he didn't deserve to be treated like that.

 

"I swear to God, Kihyun, I'm gonna kill him," said Minhyuk, sighing in the other side of the line. "What time did he said he was coming back again?"

 

"Seven."

 

"That was like two hours ago!" Minhyuk gasped, feeling rage creeping up his neck. "And he hasn't even called? To even apologize?"

 

"I know," now it was Kihyun's turn to sigh, wiping off the tear stains on his cheeks. "What am I gonna do, Minhyuk? I'm so tired."

 

"Then you leave him, he's clearly hurting you, don't you see?" Minhyuk reproached.

 

"You know I can't do that," Kihyun smiled sadly, "I still love him."

 

Kihyun knew it was stupid to still love Hoseok, but he couldn't help it, remembering all those good times when Hoseok was only his and he was Hoseok's and all was rainbows and sunshine, feeling the warmth of the memories flooded the fact that his boyfriend didn't love him the same as before, fooling him every day and hurting him as well.

 

"You're sucker," Minhyuk laughed weakly, "you know that, right?"

 

"Yeah, I know." Kihyun laughed with him, that wasn't new, he knew he was a sucker for Hoseok.

 

A silence clouded the line and Kihyun closed his eyes for a minute, focusing on the sound of his best friend's breathing on the other side of the line. He would love a hug right know.

 

"Hey," Minhyuk said softly and Kihyun could see the tender look Minhyuk always gave him when he was feeling down. "You know that I'm here, right? You can always count on me, don't forget that."

 

"Yeah, I know that," he replied with a sad smile. "Thank you."

 

"Don't thank me, but he better have a nice bouquet of roses when he apologizes, okay?" Minhyuk said, making Kihyun laugh a little. "You won't forgive him if he doesn't have one, and if he doesn't have a good excuse. You're not allowed to do that."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I'm your best friend and I say so."

 

Kihyun laughed, actually laughed and Minhyuk laughed with him, until they had to end their call because Minhyuk had to wake up early the next day and he wanted to go to sleep early, so they quickly said their goodbyes with Minhyuk saying that he was serious and Kihyun just laughed it off, knowing inside that he couldn't do that even if he wanted to.

 

He was just so tired, so exhausted of waking up in the middle of the night to his drunken boyfriend, knowing that the lips that he loved were kissing another person a couple of hours ago but still helping him and tucking him to bed, only to be showered with love and lies the next morning, and it was absolutely tiring, wanting to just end everything and rest, but he couldn't. There was this thing inside of his heart that stopped the words from leaving his mouth, every time he wanted to end things, leaving him with his mouth open to just close it again, feeling more pity for himself than he wanted to.

 

There was some times where he felt the rush of confidence, times where Hoseok was starting to say another of his excuses and he just wanted to interrupt him with a "let's break up" out of nowhere, because he didn't want more of this. And he, sitting there alone with the left overs of his dinner and the half-empty bottle of wine, was starting to feel it. He was starting feel the words creeping up in his throat, formulating the break up speech he always prepared for times like this, because he couldn't stand this any longer, he was mad, so mad.

 

_Hoseok, I want us to break up. Honestly, I've been feeling like shit for the past four months, you have treated me like shit and me, being the kind person I am, forgave you for every single one of your mistakes. I forgave you for cheating on me, I helped you when you come home drunk out of your mind and you still do it, every single day of the damn week. And you still dare to come home, that really amazes me, how you still think of coming home every night after you did all you could do to hurt me and have the guts to give excuses and lie to me. Do you think I'm a fool? I may be a fucking sucker, but not a fool that believes your lies, you're lucky that there's still love for you in my heart. Do you have any idea of how much it hurts? To see the man I love have sex with some bitch? Oh no, of course you don't know, because that hasn't happened to you at least once, because you don't even considerate my feelings and hide those awful marks on your shirts. I'm exhausted and sick of being hurt by you and I'm leaving, I can't do this anymore, I'm not even sorry._

 

All of that, was the things that Kihyun wanted to spill. He wanted to shout them every time Hoseok sweet talked him again, every time he saw the mess that Hoseok was at the door frame of the front door, every time he did the laundry and saw all those annoying red marks, feeling angry and upset. He just couldn't do this anymore and he was going to say it, he was going to do it because this was the last time Hoseok stood him up and he was tired of this.

 

In the middle of his thoughts, the jingle of keys resounded from the front door and Kihyun looked at the white wood, preparing himself for the speech he was gonna say to Hoseok to end their relationship of five years, encouraging himself to do it, because he wasn't going to let himself be wounded by the person who was supposed to love him.

 

The front door opened and Hoseok trespassed into their home, wearing that smile he always had when he knew he fucked up. This suit jacket was hanging on his forearm and his hair was a little tousled in the back, and to Kihyun's surprise, he was completely sober. All Kihyun could do was glare from his seat, letting Hoseok know about anger while Hoseok closed the door behind himself and took his shoes off, making his way to Kihyun through the living room. Okay, this was his moment, there was no other chance besides now.

 

But he could tell Hoseok his break up speech, Hoseok talked first.

 

"Baby, I'm so sorry, really." He began, slowly walking towards him and Kihyun just glared at him with more intensity. "My boss kept me in the office till late and I just left, I drove the faster I could, I'm sorry for not calling you."

 

_You think I can't see the lipstick marks in the back of your shirt?_ Kihyun wanted to ask him, but stayed quiet instead, clearly giving Hoseok the silent treatment. The latter sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 

"Look, I'm truly sorry, okay? I should've called and told you, my fault, I know." Hoseok said as he crouched down in front of him, and Kihyun looked anywhere but him, refusing to look at those sweet brown eyes of his. "I know I've been coming home late these days and-"

 

"These days? Hoseok, it's been _months_ ," Kihyun said, feeling a little proud at how firm his voice sounded. "It's been months and you think it has been _weeks_ , wow, I don't know what I expected."

 

Hoseok sighed once again and took Kihyun's hands on his, making Kihyun feel the want to pull them away, but he didn't. Hoseok moved his head, searching for Kihyun's eyes and looking right at them when he found them.

 

"I'm sorry I'm being such an asshole, can I make it up to you?" Looking at Hoseok's pleading and sweet eyes, Kihyun felt his façade weaken. He shouldn't let that happen, but he was a huge softie for his boyfriend, he couldn't resist how truthful Hoseok sounded like.

 

"I-I don't know," replied Kihyun, because it was the truth, he didn't know if Hoseok could amend the wounds in his heart and he didn't want to throw away his chance of ending this sempiternal pain. But he couldn't leave Hoseok, he still loved him. His mind was a mess in that moment. Hoseok let go of his hands to cup his face, getting close to Kihyun, so close that their breathing blended.

 

"Please, Kihyun," Hoseok brushed their noses together with a soft smile. "I'll do anything, I'll try to come home early, yeah? I love you, more than you think."

 

Kihyun let the words melt him, dropping the remainders of his anger and falling into Hoseok's warmth, sighing softly. Hoseok smiled at this and left a chaste kiss on Kihyun's lips, before resting his forehead against Kihyun's.

 

"I'm sorry," Hoseok whispered, leaving another kiss.

 

"It's okay," replied Kihyun, this time with a small smile.

 

Hoseok smiled as well and stood up, bringing Kihyun with him by his hands, before staring into his eyes and kissing him slowly. Kihyun melted against his lips and brought his arms to Hoseok's neck, intertwining his fingers in his nape, feeling the smooth strands of his hair and sighing happily. Hoseok's hands went to his hips and started stroking the warm skin under Kihyun's sweater, enjoying the unique smell of his boyfriend and feeling a little bad for lying to him like that, but he didn't want that Kihyun left him, because that would hurt terribly and he loved him a lot. Yes, he loved him a lot, and he knew that Kihyun didn't deserve all Hoseok did to him, all the cheating and the lies, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't, he didn't know why, but he just couldn't. He sure loved Kihyun, a lot, but the thrill of doing all those unforgiving things filled his heart with excitement in a sick way, and he knew it was wrong, it was so wrong, he hated himself sometimes for hurting Kihyun like that. But all he could do was come back home and fall into Kihyun's arms, drunk or slightly tipsy, to remind him that he loved him to death and lying to him again and again.

 

He pulled back and stared at Kihyun's beautiful face, thinking again of how much he didn't deserve to be treated in such way and that he could be treated better with another guy, but it was complicated. Hoseok brushed his hair out of his face and placed a kiss on his forehead, then on his cheeks, in his nose,  and finally on his lips.

 

Kihyun felt like he was in heaven, being wrapped in his boyfriend's arms, with him kissing his face lovingly, making him feel secured and completely loved and wanted. He felt like he left before all this mess happened, when Hoseok came home early to shower him with kisses, helping him to make dinner, chatting about everything and nothing with Kihyun, both of them laughing between kisses, staring into each other's eyes with pure devotion. That time where everything that mattered was them, not the lies, not the hurting, just their love.

 

He really hoped that Hoseok was talking that seriously this time, he really hoped that Hoseok meant those words and that he was gonna change, because all he wanted back was the old Hoseok, that loyal, honest, funny and lovely Hoseok. He just wanted to go back to the lovely times and to know for sure that Hoseok was only his and of no one else, to know where was Hoseok and when was he coming, to be the only one for Hoseok, to be enough. But he couldn't help to feel like this was another start of the cycle, where Hoseok sweet talked him and still went out on Monday night, like nothing happened. He couldn't help to feel the disappointment of all going to still be the same, and it was saddening, to be honest. Kihyun frowned and Hoseok recognized his expression, the one he put on when he was thinking too much. Hoseok leaned forward and kissed the little crease on his brow, soothing it after. Hoseok hugged him and Kihyun buried his face on Hoseok's neck, relaxing in his boyfriend's warmth.

 

"You know that I love you a lot, right?" whispered Hoseok in his ear, tightening his hold around Kihyun, "a lot, lot."

 

"I know," Kihyun whispered back, "I love you too."

 

 

 

_Why am I such a fool when it comes to you?_

 

 

◊


End file.
